Growing up, it was a challenge fitting in socially and actually felt I was part of a community. I was born in Italy. My dad is Italian so I couldn't understand when other kids would shout at me "go back to your country", until I realised my skin colour and my African characteristics were a problem for them. I have been left out, insulted and made to feel like there wasn't a place for me. In addition to my characteristics that weren't seen as normal, my family didn't have a lot of money so I was being seen as the black poor child although I have always been happy with what I had. The relationship with my dad made everything more difficult to manage as the contact with him was rare, and when I would meet him the conversation was him complaining about his past with my mom. I expected him to take me to his city, to meet his family, teach me his traditions, etc. but I never had any of that. I grew up only with mom, I have been around African culture since I was born and because of my relationship with my dad I didn't had the chance to learn about my Italian side. 

I went to Nigeria once, in 2008. I was just 9 years old. My experience then was great, however people would look at me and my sister amazed and say "vanilla essence". In a way, that made me feel uncomfortable as they would see me as a white person which means they thought I didn't know anything about their culture and their language. I felt like I couldn't fit in anywhere. In Italy, I was a black person and they were racist towards me. In Nigeria, instead they would see me as a white person, surprised about everything that I would do. When I moved to London, I was surprised how culturally diverse it was. There are many black/mixed-race people living here which doesn't make me feel alone. It's where I understood the meaning of "cultural appropriation".

People are often confused about my name. My full name is Omonikike Gloria Mezzanotte. My first name is Nigerian and my surname is Italian, but I present myself as "Gloria" (that's the name I grew up with). It makes people wonder where I am from as Gloria doesn't have a specific origin that people can refer to. Both my name and my aspect are part of my identity and they have both being questioned or made fun of. Even though my upbringing was very orientated towards African culture, there are many things that I still don't know about and for what I do know, I would like to get more involved with it. For example, I understand and speak Yoruba, but it's rare that I communicate with people in that language. By going to Nigeria I can push myself in having a full experience of being African.